Fake News Reports!
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson says G-7 nations all swear on their pinkies to give 1 billion Trump vaccine doses to poorer countries.
“You don’t mind picking up the tab for that, do you, United States? We’ll pay you back later.”
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The San Francisco Chronicle Wonders If The City By The Bay Will Be The First To Achieve Herd Immunity!
Um… and which social disease are we talking about, San Francisco?
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The Washington Post Reports A Houston-Based Hospital System Suspended Workers Who Did Not Comply With Their Vaccine Mandate!
That’s okay.
I didn’t really want to clean out all those bedpans anyway.
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Lord, grant me the ability to avoid the people I don’t like, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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My wife found a suppository in my ear.
Now she’s asking me where I put my hearing aid.
@elriobravo replied: “Be glad she didn’t find a rectal thermometer in your shirt pocket, ‘cause then we’d know where your pen is.”
To which I said: “…which explains my trip to the ER.”
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Soccer is the perfect sport for ugly virgins.
You don’t get to use your hands and you almost never score.
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The G7 Came To An Uncomfortable Conclusion When Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau Donned Blackface To Bid Everyone A Theatrical Adieu!
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Greg Zanetti Throws His Hat Into New Mexico’s 2022 Governor Race!
“First thing I’m going to do,” he promises, “is change my last name.”
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Kamala Harris Invites Every Single Female Senator To Dinner At The Naval Observatory!
“Maybe one of them can tell me what to do about the border crisis.”
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The New York Times Interviews Dr. Shi Zhengli, A Virologist From China’s Wuhan Institute of Virology, And She Says…
BANG!
...technical difficulties...please stand by...
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
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