Fake News Reports!
Stressed And Exhausted From Severe Staff Shortages As Coronavirus Numbers Surge, New Mexico Nurses Are Calling It Quits!
“OnlyFans is banning pornography?” a spokesperson said on Sunday. “We’ll be back to work on Monday.”
**********
General Michael Hayden, In A Juvenile-Seeming Mean-Girl Retweet, Called Trump Supporters “America’s” Taliban!
When asked for a comment, the former CIA Director responded, “Nanny, nanny, boo-boo!”
**********
Following His Resignation, Governor Cuomo Is Desperate To Dump His Dog On Someone So He Can Go On Vacation!
“Next stop: Epstein Island!” the disgraced New York politician said. “Choo-Choo!”
**********
On Her Asian Trip, Kamala Harris Admits China Continues To “Coerce” And “Intimidate” While Threatening “The Sovereignty Of Nations”!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
She AGREES with Trump!
CANCEL HER!
**********
Sometimes success means you just didn’t get caught cheating.
**********
When we got married my wife assured me there would be no need for any bosses in our house…
…so long as I did as I was told.
**********
When I throw a party I like to give a prize to the first couple to go home.
**********
I tried fishwatching once.
Almost drowned.
**********
The Television Academy Takes Back Its Made-Up Emmy From Disgraced New York Governor Andrew Cuomo!
Is it because of the sexual harassment allegations leveled against him?
“No, it’s just that after we sobered up we realized he really wasn’t all that good.”
**********
After The Kabul Suicide Bombing, Joe Biden Orders Plans To Retaliate Against ISIS Leadership!
“And I’m giving them plenty of notice so they can go somewhere safe before we do.”
**********
This Just In!
Just Days Away From His Recall Election, Governor Gavin Newsom Gives His Personal Guarantee That Every Single Californian Trapped In Afghanistan Will...
"...somehow, someway receive their mail-in ballot."
**********
Joe Biden Gives Taliban List Of “American Citizens, Green Card Holders, & Afghan Allies” Who Needed Safe Passage To The Airport In Kabul.
In other words, he gave them a list of potential hostages.
**********
In Yesterday’s Speech, Joe Biden Promised To Hunt Down The Terrorists Responsible For Bombing The Kabul Airport!
Great… the team who botched the Afghanistan withdrawal are now in charge of making ISIS pay.
**********
It was dark days for Joe Biden. Border crisis. Inflation crisis. Afghanistan crisis. And now the terrorist bombing at the Kabul airport.
Suddenly, he had a thought.
“By any chance, Milley, does the Taliban leader go by the name of Corn Pop?”
“No, Mr. President,” the General assured him.
“Thank goodness,” Biden said, breathing out a sigh of relief. “For a second there, I thought I was in trouble.”
**********
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
No comments:
Post a Comment