Fake News Reports!
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
But when that other man takes it home, his wife will say, “How many times do I have to tell you? Quit bringing home trash!”
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Joe Biden Has Called His Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal An “Extraordinary Success”
What else is on the president’s list of extraordinary successes?
“The play Abraham Lincoln was watching when he was assassinated comes to mind,” he says.
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The Withdrawal Being An “Extraordinary Success, Joe Biden Declared “Mission Accomplished” And General Milley Wrapped Up A Day Early!
So how are there still over a thousand American hostages trapped in Afghanistan?
“Trump did it!”
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The Withdrawal’s An “Extraordinary Success” Joe Biden Declares! “Mission Accomplished” He Informs General Milley, Who Wraps Up A Day Early!
So how could NGO planes ready to airlift Americans to safety be grounded at an airport in northern Afghanistan?
“Trump did it,” they cry.
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Fake News Outlet Reuters Reports That The Word From A Taliban-Controlled Afghanistan Is…
“Yeah, we’re screwed.”
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Fake News Outlet The Telegraph Reports That Afghan Refugees In The English Town Of Newport Pagnell In The Ceremonial County Of Buckinghamshire Were Welcomed With A Cricket Match!
No explanation was given for their sudden return to Afghanistan.
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Afghanistan’s Healthcare System On The Verge Of Collapsing Under Taliban Rule!
“Perhaps it was a mistake to implement Obamacare,” the new Taliban government laments.
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Hannibal Lecter Reports:
A census taker once tried to vaccinate me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine
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