Sunday, September 12, 2021

The Week In Tweets: Special What Doctors Do Edition!

 Fake News Reports!


White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki Confirms Joe Biden Plans To Visit The Northeast After The Devastating Hurricane Ida And Promises He Will Not Check His Watch The Entire Time He’s There!
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El Salvador Has Become The First Country To Accept Bitcoin As Its Official Currency Because…
“…our country doesn’t have enough problems.”
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Searchers Miraculously Find Three-Year-Old Boy Who Got Lost In The Australian Outback!
Upon his rescue, the toddler was immediately forced to the ground and arrested for not wearing a mask.
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Salon, The Entirely Digital Fake News Media Outlet, Reaches Out To Satan To Stop Texas’ New Abortion Law!
“You guys are nucking futs,” an amused Prince of Darkness observes, politely declining.
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The Bloomberg Quicktake Reports That Joe Biden Blames MEATPACKERS For The Rising Cost Of Food!
“Well, I got to blame SOMEBODY,” he sputters.
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Scientists And Virologists Confirm That Covid-19 And The Common Cold Are Caused By DIFFERENT Viruses!
Well… DUH!
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The Esteemed Fake News Outlet “Digital Culture Insider” Reports How Kylie Jenner’s Fans Predicted Her Pregnancy MONTHS AGO By Her Nail Polish!
Some people have way too much time on their hands.
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With The Lowest Vaccination Rates In The NFL, The Dallas Cowboys Will Now Be Known As “Half Of America’s” Team!
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Virginia Removes Robert E. Lee Statue From State Capital!
“Don’t worry,” Covid warrior Joe Biden assures his southern constituents, “it will be put back as soon as we put a mask on it.”
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First Lady Dr.Jill Biden Returns To In-Person Teaching At A Community College Because..
“…that’s what real doctors do.”
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The U.S. Government Is Looking Into Why McDonald’s McFlurry Machines Are Constantly Broken Because…
“…there’s not much else going on in the world.”
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

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