Tuesday, November 2, 2021

The Week In Tweets: Special COP26 Edition!

 Fake News Reports!


It’s Election Day!
And all across the nation good Americans are heading out to cast their vote two, maybe three times.
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White Supremacist Wears Confederate Flag At Virginia Gubernatorial Candidate Glenn Youngkin’s Loudoun County Rally!
or
On The Verge Of Losing Governor Race, Desperate Terry McAuliffe Sneaks Into Opponent’s Rally Wearing Confederate Flag!
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Health Officials And Fact-Checkers Insist Masks Are Safe And Effective
In Preventing Covid-19!
So then we DON’T need to get vaccinated?
“Hey, let’s not go crazy out there.”
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The White House Releases Framework To Joe Biden’s 1.75 Trillion Dollar Economic Build Back Better Act!
“It’s a two-part plan,” a spokesman for his administration explained. “First we take your money, then we waste it.”
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For The First Time Since Fatally Shooting Cinematographer Halyna Hutchins
On The Set Of His Movie “Rust,”Alec Baldwin Publicly Speaks Out!
“If only there was one person who had the sense
to check my gun before I pulled the trigger,” he lamented.
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As World Leaders Debate On How To Avert A Devastating Climate Change Disaster, The COP26 Are Finally Unanimous In Their Conclusion!
“The United States should pay for it.”
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Al Jazeera Reveals The Top Six Locations Hit Hardest By Climate Change!
Number One was my pocketbook.
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THIS JUST IN:
Joe Biden Falls Asleep During COP26 Opening Speeches!
As well as everybody else.
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As The COP26 Begins, Insider International Wonders What It’s Like In Jacobabad, Pakistan, One Of The Hottest Places On Earth!
“Hot, man,” a local native says. “Real hot.”
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British Prime Minister Boris Johnson Warns World Leaders At The COP26 That It’s “A Minute To Midnight And We Must Act NOW!”
“…so, bartender, let’s have ANOTHER round for the house!”
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Meanwhile, Over A Hundred World Leaders At The COP26 Have Pledged To End Deforestation By 2030!
Which, coincidentally, is the same year we’ll run out of forests.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

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