Fake News Reports!
As The People Of The Ukraine Stand Up To Putin And Fight His Russian Invasion, American College Students Panic As Raccoon Falls From Ceiling In The Louisiana State University Dining Hall! I fear for our country.
*********
“Hank the Tank”, A 500-Pound Bear, Has Been Breaking Into California Homes For Food! Joe Biden appoints Kamala Harris to determine what the root causes of the bear’s aggressive encroachment into our sovereign lands are.
*********
With Violent Crime Up By Double-Digits In New York, A 57-Year-Old Lady Was Robbed After Being Kicked Down A Flight Of Subway Stairs And Attacked With A Hammer, Fracturing Her Skull! “I’m still voting Democrat,” she promises.
*********
Albuquerque’s Gateway Center Is All Set To Open! …for women only. Sexism is alive and well in New Mexico.
*********
Setting A Dangerous Precedent For Former & Future Presidents, Joe Biden Plans To Deny Michael Flynn’s & Peter Navarro’s Executive Privilege Claims! “Maybe you should rethink that, big guy,” says a concerned Hunter Biden.
*********
In An Unprovoked Attack, A Woman Was Smeared With Human Feces In The New York Subway! “Am I still voting Democrat? You bet!”
*********
Amazon Proudly Opens It’s First State-Of-The-Art CASHIERLESS Whole Foods! With no cashiers on the payroll, I guess that will translate into lower prices for your customers, right? “Wrong,” laughs Jeff Bezos all the way to the bank.
*********
BREAKING NEWS:
Russia Has Arrested Brittney Griner, Star W.N.B.A. Player, After Allegedly Finding Hashish In Her Luggage! OKAY, PUTIN! NOW YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR!
*********
A Fake News Special Report:
Didn’t care yesterday.
Don’t care today.
Won’t care tomorrow.
**********
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at
Desert Exposure Magazine
No comments:
Post a Comment