Fake News Reports!
Merrick Garland And The Primarily Male Department Of Justice Promise They “Will Work Tirelessly To Protect And Advance Reproductive Freedom”!
“If women think they can force us into marriage or paying child support, they are sadly mistaken.”
*********
I’m not saying my ex was a bad cook, but our parrot used to say, “Polly wants an Alka-Seltzer!”
*********
THIS JUST IN:
Howard Stern Teases He Just Might Run For President! Great. ANOTHER rich old white guy to choose from.
*********
After Months Of Debate, Governor Gavin Newsom Reached A Budget Deal With Fellow Democrats Where Californians Might Receive A Gas Refund!
Who qualifies? Not you.
*********
According To The Times, The Biden Administration Has Sent CIA Operatives To Help The War Effort In Ukraine!
“There must be SOME way we can tie this to Trump,” they chitter, stealthily.
*********
In A Recently Released Video, Jon Voight Calls For The Impeachment Of Joe Biden! “And you should listen to me because I’m an actor.”
*********
An 8-Year-Old Boy Has Been Found Alive After Going Missing In The Sewers Of Germany For Over A Week! I hear he survived by eating the Baby Ruth candy bars that were floating by.
*********
The New York Times Wonders: “Who Will Help Care for Texas’ Post-Roe Babies?” “I mean, we can’t expect their parents to do it.”
*********
The Racist New York Times Publishes A Picture Of A Black Infant As It Wonders: “Who Will Help Care for Texas’ Post-Roe Babies?” Gee, what are you trying to say about black people, NYT?
*********
Nietzsche said, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but what he didn’t say was, “What doesn’t kill you sure can mess you up.”
*********
Shouldn’t you be smarter than your phone?
*********
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
read my latest RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at
Desert Exposure Magazine
No comments:
Post a Comment