Fake News Reports!
I’m not offensive by nature. It takes me a lot of practice.
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THIS JUST IN:
CNN News Opinionator Jim Acosta STILL Obsessed With President Trump!
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The World Health Organization Declares Monkeypox To Be A Global Emergency As Cases Surge!
Not that they asked me, but if they wanted us to take Monkeypox seriously they shouldn't have given it such a funny name.
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Pope Francis, On A “Pilgrimage Of Penance,” Traveled To Canada To Personally Apologize To The Indigenous Populations There For Role The Catholic Church Played In The Residential School System Abuse Scandal!
“And also for Justin Trudeau.”
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In An Instagram Post On Saturday, Martha Stewart Announced The Death Of Six Of Her Pet Peacocks!
“They were glorious birds,” she tweeted, “so friendly… and so delicious.”
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Jordan Peele’s “Nope” Star Keke Palmer Complains About Being Compared To Zendaya!
“How DARE you compare me to a talented, beautiful actress.”
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To Combat Global Warming, Scientists Are Wondering If We Should “Dim The Sun”!
My father has a saying:
“WHAT ARE YOU? STUPID?”
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The Associated Press Wonders “If Monkeypox Spreads Through Sexual Contact, Does That Make It A Sexually Transmitted Disease?”!
Well… DUH.
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In A Social Media Post, Will Smith Finally Apologizes And Reveals He’s “Deeply Remorseful” For Slapping Chris Rock At The Oscars!
“Can I have my career back now?”
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Fact-Checkers Have Determined That The Coincidental Deaths Of 3 Doctors Working For Trillium Health Partners In Canada Is NOT Related To Covid-Xi Vaccines!
“It was QUESTIONING the vaccines that did them in,” a spokesman for Justin Trudeau smoothly explains.
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In a hundred years, none of this will matter.
In fact, it barely matters now.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at
Desert Exposure Magazine
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