Friday, September 22, 2017

The Week In End Of The World Tweets!

This Just In!
A Tattoo Will Get OLD...
...just like YOU!
Weird News!
Apple Fanatic Can't Wait To Get His Hands On An iPhone X!
"I hear it's already obsolete!" he gushes.
Weird News!
Astronomers Discover A Pitch Black Planet!
How did they see it?
"We didn't. It's pitch black."
Weird News!
Florida Sheriff Warned Public To NOT Shoot At Hurricane Irma!
"I don't CARE if you saw it on 'Sharknado!'"
Weird News!
David Meade:
World Will End... TOMORROW!
"Nibiru, aka Planet X, will CRASH into Earth September 23," he predicts. "Send $."
Weird News!
Woman Screens Potential Boyfriends With VERY Personal Application Form!
"I haven't had a date since 1983," she admits.
Weird News!
Playboy Playmate Katie Price Reveals The Single Most Disgusting Thing She Did At The Playboy Mansion!
Weird News!
Outraged Chocoholics Protest The Rising Cost Of Freddos!
What are Freddos?
I'm guessing some kind of chocolate.
Weird News!
Chinese Man Cleans People's Eyeballs With A Straight Razor!
My question is this:
Just how dirty are people's eyes in China?
Weird News!
Location Scout For TV Show "Narcos" MURDERED In Mexico!
What does the Mexican government say?
Who cares?
They're not the ones in charge.
Weird News!
Man Robs Bank, Then Waits To Be Arrested, All To Get Away From His Wife!
"Well," his wife reveals, "he always wanted to try anal sex."
Weird News!
David Meade Predicts End Of The World...TOMORROW!
"Even I don't believe that nonsense," declares the very dead L Ron Hubbard."
American Chimpanzee

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