Sunday, September 17, 2017

The Week In Weird News Tweets!

Man who "screwed over" woman regretting it a year later due to her simple prank.
"I poisoned his dog."
Fitness expert reveals what he would order at YOUR favorite fast food restaurant.
"Vomit. Might as well eliminate the middle-man."
Man says bright light hovering in night sky is a UFO from another planet.
"But what do I know? I'm nuts."
Women could earn extra cash providing the voice for "sex robots," but, unfortunately, these robots won't be saying, "Not tonight. I have a headache."
Huge hermit crab shell looks exactly like terrifying "Toy Story" character...
Randy Newman!
Driver certain she backed over and killed family dog, until she gets out to check.
"Thank God it was just my husband."
Guard's hand "burned by ghosts" at jail where the Krays were held.
"They warned me the burner on the stove was haunted, but I didn't believe it."
Mysterious sea monster with razor-sharp fangs washes up on Texas beach.
Come to think about it, I haven't seen my ex lately.
Man whose Tinder date threw her poo out of his window explains, "What else was I supposed to do with it?"
Chef explains how he cooks expensive meals for one dollar.
"I shoplift."
Host shocked as sex robot shouts filthy comments on live morning television.
"I'm a sex robot. What did they expect?"
American Chimpanzee

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