Sunday, June 10, 2018

The Week In Tweets: Special Chelsea Clinton Edition!

This Just In!
The Very Elderly George Bush!
For Low Blood Pressure & Fatigue!
"Give it to me straight, doc," the former 41st president wanted to know. "Am I sick?"
"You're just old."
This Just In!
Chelsea Clinton: President Trump degrades "what it means to be an American."
Her opinions would mean more if the only job she's ever held wasn't just being a Clinton.
This Just In!
In an interview with British Fake News, Chelsea Clinton said the Trump Administration is laden with "cruelty and incompetence and corruption" and other words that begin with C.
"Wait a minute," she corrected, "that was my FATHER'S administration."
This Just In!
According to British Fake News, Chelsea Clinton ORDERS the British people to "show up to protest" President Trump's July visit to England because "as a Clinton, it's my job to sow hatred and discord as a way for my mom and dad to steal money."
This Just In!
In her most recent doctor visit, Chelsea Clinton was told that her deep hatred of President Trump is causing her blood pressure to skyrocket.
"I'd like a second opinion," she snottily insisted.
"Okay," the doctor agreed. "You're also pretty ugly."
As a Democrat, I believe in Income Equality.
That's why Nancy Pelosi should give me half her fortune.
Today is National Donut Day!
Isn't EVERY day National Donut Day?
I'm a survivalist.
I don't mind living off the land.
As long as I can order Domino's.
This Just In!
Ex-President Clinton Is DISGUSTED That President Trump PARDONED Alice Marie Johnson!
"I would have charged Kim Kardashian $250,000 for THAT."
Every time a celebrity dies, an angel gets its wings. 

American Chimpanzee

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