The only problem with setting a good example is no one follows a good example.
Fake News Wonders: Can a president pardon himself?
"I don't need to apologize to Monica Lewinski."--Former President Clinton
I guess they can.
This Just In!
To Celebrate The Historic President Trump / Kim Jong-un Summit--TODAY ONLY!--All Korean Massages... FREE!
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The Historic President Trump / Kin Jong-un Summit... A SUCCESS!
"But what about Russia?" wails Fake News.
This Just In!
As part of the historic agreement between President Trump and Kim Jong-un, the portly dictator promised North Koreans will no longer eat dogs.
"We've already eaten them all," he admits, chuckling.
This Just In!
A new report by the University of California at Berkeley blames "hard to defend" conservative speech for inciting left-wing students to violence, and, further, conservative rape victims who dress provocatively "are just asking for it!"
I've never seen the former President Clinton so upset.
The Miss America Pageant just cancelled its swimsuit competition.
My favorite vegetable is steak.
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Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau Tells President Trump: Canada WILL NOT Be "Pushed Around."
"Only the very old and very frail Queen Elizabeth can do that," he lisped.
I write my goals down and then celebrate when I achieve them. For example:
1) Become fat.
2) Stay lazy.
YAY!
Scientists have determined that trying new things is the key to longevity.
Bless you, Baskin Robbins!
This Just In!
Rapper XXXTention Shot And Killed In Florida!
Yeah, I've never heard of him either.
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Separation Policy Has GOP Starting To Panic About 2018!
Wait a minute... liberals WON'T vote for you, and illegal immigrants CAN'T vote for you, so just where are you losing votes?
"Oh, yeah. Silly us."
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Ted Cruz BREAKS With President Trump With Bill To End Separation Policy!
"It's the deal I made with Jimmy Kimmel to throw the basketball game."
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Experts Reveal Kilauea Lava Is Now HOTTER And More FLUID!
Hot and liquidy... isn't that what lava is, Mr. Expert?
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A CUSTODIAN Brought Down The House At A Graduation With His Emotional Performance Of The National Anthem!
"The toilet's backed up," the liberals and Democrats in the audience told him when he was done.
This Just In!
Wendy's Employee Films Mouse Among the Hamburger Buns!
"Why am I suddenly out of a job?" employee wonders as Wendy's goes out of business.
Robert De Niro at the Tony Awards: "Fuck Trump!"
See what actors come up with on their own when they don't have writers writing for them?
This just In!
Former President Obama Signs Deal To Produce Show For Netflix!
"It's a sweet deal. I do nothing, and they PAY me!"
At the library, one of the librarians told me I look just like her late husband.
I wonder if she meant now, or back when he was still alive.
This Just In!
Senator Kamala Harris NOT Ruling Out A 2020 White House Run!
No, it's the rest of America that's ruling it out.
American Chimpanzee
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