NIKE Vehemently Defends Decision To Call The American Flag RACIST!
"This is America," a spokesman groveling at the feet of Colin Kaepernick sniffed. "We have the right to be intimidated by anybody we want. Right, Mr. Kaepernick?"
President Trump's Fourth Of July Parade Will Be Partially Paid For By Diverting Funds From The National Parks Service!
"And THAT money should go for free health care and college for foreign nationals who are in this country illegally," gripe Democrats.
"Is The U.S. Ready For 'Madam President'?" Asks Vogue Magazine.
I don't know...
Why don't you ask Hillary Clinton?
California Shaken By A 6.9 Earthquake Over The Fourth Of July Holiday!
A 5.4 aftershock was recorded later in Los Angeles.
Governor Gavin Newsom and L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti BOTH stumped as to how to blame it on Trump.
Rep. Justin Amash Declares His Independence From The Republican Party!
Who?
Exactly.
Kevin Spacey's Accuser DROPS His Lawsuit Against The Award-Winning Actor!
"There is no problem money can't solve," lawyers around the world chuckle maniacally.
This Just In!
The U.S. Economy Created 224,000 New Jobs!
Unemployment Up 3.7%!
C'mon, Fake News, make up your mind.
This Just In!
FIVE Police Officers Were Kicked Out Of A Starbucks In Tempe, Arizona Because Starbucks Said The Officers Made Their Customers Feel Unsafe!
And THAT, my friends, is why I eat at Chick-fil-A.
A Starbucks Vice-President Has Apologized To The Police Officers Who Were Kicked Out Of A Starbucks In Tempe, Arizona For Making Some Crybaby Wimp Feel Unsafe!
Why didn't the PRESIDENT of Starbucks apologize?
"Apologizing is for the little people."
Paul Ryan Says President Trump "didn't know anything about government"!
Okaaay... so what's Congress' excuse?
This Just In!
Beto O'Rourke's Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Owned TWO Female Slaves, Rose & Eliza!
"That's not me," the presidential wannabe sputtered, trying to weasel out of it, "that's my great-great-great-grandfather, R. Kelly O'Rourke."
This Just In!
Beto O'Rourke's Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Was A SLAVE Owner!
"I guess he wasn't so great after all," Beto lamented.
Beto O'Rourke's Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Was The Proud Owner Of Slaves!
"I was recently given documents showing that BOTH AMY AND I are descended from people who owned slaves," he sheepishly admitted.
Way to throw your wife under the bus, Beto.
A Starbucks Vice-President Has Apologized To The Police Officers Who Were Kicked Out Of A Starbucks In Tempe, Arizona For Making Some Crybaby Wimp Feel Unsafe!
Why didn't the PRESIDENT of Starbucks apologize?
"Apologizing is for the little people."
Paul Ryan Says President Trump "didn't know anything about government"!
Okaaay... so what's Congress' excuse?
This Just In!
Beto O'Rourke's Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Owned TWO Female Slaves, Rose & Eliza!
"That's not me," the presidential wannabe sputtered, trying to weasel out of it, "that's my great-great-great-grandfather, R. Kelly O'Rourke."
This Just In!
Beto O'Rourke's Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Was A SLAVE Owner!
"I guess he wasn't so great after all," Beto lamented.
Beto O'Rourke's Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Was The Proud Owner Of Slaves!
"I was recently given documents showing that BOTH AMY AND I are descended from people who owned slaves," he sheepishly admitted.
Way to throw your wife under the bus, Beto.
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