Announcer:
“Welcome to America’s hottest new game show!”
(studio audience yells:)
“WILL TRUMP WEASEL OUT OF IT!”
Announcer:
“The game show where YOU determine whether our Occupant in Chief will weasel his way out of his latest asinine statement.
“In every episode our host, Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling, will reveal a quote from”the greatest president in our lifetime,” and the caller who comes up with the correct answer will win a Tootsie Roll.
“The results will be kept secret and held by the national accounting firm of Price Waterhouse until it’s time to award that Tootsie Roll.
“Are you ready, Joke Man?”
Jackie Martling:
“I’m ready.”
Announcer:
“Are you ready America?”
(studio audience yells:)
“Send Her Back! Send Her Back! Send Her Back!”
Announcer:
“Then... Let’s Get Ready To WEASEL!”
Jackie Martling:
“President Donald Trump recently told four congresswomen—all women of color—to ‘go back’ where they came from, creating a huge controversy and incredible backlash. Will he weasel out of it?”
1st Contestant:
“Am I on the air? Oh, my God, I can’t believe I got through. I would say yes, because America has a short memory and will probably forget about it by the end of the week.”
2nd Contestant:
“No, Trump won’t weasel out of it. The American people can only take so much, and this time Trump has really crossed the line.”
3rd Contestant:
“Am I on? Can you hear me? Yes, Trump will definitely weasel out of it. I mean, he’s made America great again and everything.”
4th Contestant:
“In ANY context, it would be inappropriate to say ‘go back.’ Much less, if you’re the President of the United States of America. So, no, he will not weasel out of it.”
5th Contestant:
“The answer is yes. It will be forgotten when a sex tape of Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez in her bartending days is released. At least, that’s what I’m hoping.”
Jackie Martling:
“Who let Jeffrey Epstein in here?”
Announcer:
“Sorry, Joke Man. He keeps sneaking in.”
6th Contestant:
“Don’t you understand? He told FOUR women of color to ‘go back’ where they came from! How can he possibly weasel out of THAT?”
7th Contestant:
“Long time listener, first time caller. Trump will weasel out of it when a photoshopped photo of Ilhan Abdullahi Omar flying a plane into the second tower on 9-11 surfaces.”
8th Contestant:
“Who ARE you people? THAT’S fake and THIS is real! There is no way in hell he’s going to weasel his way out of it!”
9th Contestant:
“‘Go Back...’ Isn’t that a Beatles song?”
Jackie Martling:
“That’s ‘GET Back.’”
9th Contestant:
“Oh.”
Announcer:
“That’s all the contestants, Joke Man. Now will you please announce the winner?”
Jackie Martling:
“Of course.”
The Price Waterhouse representative walks across the stage and hands Jackie an envelope.
Jackie Martling:
“And the winner is...” (opens the envelope) “...nobody. Nobody wins in this scenario.”
Announcer:
“That’s it for tonight’s episode. Tune in tomorrow to hear the next idiotic blathering Trump pulls out of his ass.
“And, as always...”
(studio audience yells:)
“WILL TRUMP WEASEL OUT OF IT!”
American Chimpanzee
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RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
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