Fake News Reports!
You get paid double-time for working on holidays because business is usually so slow on holidays that every hour feels like two.
Elon Musk Names His New Son "X Æ A-12"!
"I wanted his name to be a reminder to people of just how smart I am," the SpaceX pioneer explained, "just before they punch him in the face."
Michelle Obama Releases Her First Netflix Documentary "Becoming"!
The first half of the film is devoted to her and her husband laughing all the way to the bank.
BuzzFeed News Wonders Why The Homeless Can't Use The Empty Hotel Rooms Across The Country During The Pandemic!
Why don't you let the homeless stay in that spare bedroom you have in your house?
"Hey! We're not talking about ME!"
A Gas Leak In India Has Killed At Least Eleven And Injured Hundreds!
"How can we tie this to the Coronavirus?" wonders news media.
A Five-Year-Old Boy Steals His Mother's SUV To Fulfill His Quest Of Buying A Lamborghini!
Just how big was this kid?
In An Opinion Piece, The Los Angeles Times Tells Us What Earthquakes Can Teach Us About The Coronavirus!
You're really reaching, aren't you, L.A. Times?
The New York Times Says More Than Half Of The Husbands In A Marriage Believe They Do Most Of The Homeschooling!
Only 3% of the wives agree.
"Heh, heh... our plan to turn the sexes against each other has begun," the newspaper chuckles maniacally.
THIS JUST IN!
Medical Experts Have Determined That The Eerie Quiet In Cities, Silent Due To The Pandemic Quarantine, Makes it EASIER To Eavesdrop On Your Neighbors!
An @JimDuchene Exclusive!
In A Mother's Day Miracle, God Answered The Prayers Of A Grieving Child!
"Please don't take my mommy," the child begged.
"Sorry," God said.
Elon Musk Names His New Son "X Æ A-12"!
"I wanted his name to be a reminder to people of just how smart I am," the SpaceX pioneer explained, "just before they punch him in the face."
Michelle Obama Releases Her First Netflix Documentary "Becoming"!
The first half of the film is devoted to her and her husband laughing all the way to the bank.
BuzzFeed News Wonders Why The Homeless Can't Use The Empty Hotel Rooms Across The Country During The Pandemic!
Why don't you let the homeless stay in that spare bedroom you have in your house?
"Hey! We're not talking about ME!"
A Gas Leak In India Has Killed At Least Eleven And Injured Hundreds!
"How can we tie this to the Coronavirus?" wonders news media.
A Five-Year-Old Boy Steals His Mother's SUV To Fulfill His Quest Of Buying A Lamborghini!
Just how big was this kid?
In An Opinion Piece, The Los Angeles Times Tells Us What Earthquakes Can Teach Us About The Coronavirus!
You're really reaching, aren't you, L.A. Times?
The New York Times Says More Than Half Of The Husbands In A Marriage Believe They Do Most Of The Homeschooling!
Only 3% of the wives agree.
"Heh, heh... our plan to turn the sexes against each other has begun," the newspaper chuckles maniacally.
THIS JUST IN!
Medical Experts Have Determined That The Eerie Quiet In Cities, Silent Due To The Pandemic Quarantine, Makes it EASIER To Eavesdrop On Your Neighbors!
An @JimDuchene Exclusive!
In A Mother's Day Miracle, God Answered The Prayers Of A Grieving Child!
"Please don't take my mommy," the child begged.
"Sorry," God said.
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
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