Fake News Reports!
Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, And Adam Schiff Promise To Possibly Reveal The Secret Evidence They Have Concerning The Role President Trump May Have Played In The Recent Massive Explosion In Beirut!
In A Fast Company Interview, Ryan Reynolds Admits That He And Blake Lively Deeply Regret Having Had A "Plantation" Wedding!
Don't worry about it, Ryan.
You're not that important.
I'm not saying my mother-in-law is wrinkled, but her face looks like MapQuest.
These days, isn't it odd that some people put their dogs in a baby-stroller and their babies on a leash?
According To Hollywood's Premier Entertainment Newspaper Variety, THESE Are Robert Pattinson's 10 Best Movie Performances:
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Future News Reports:
In the future, dead people being stored in cryogenic chambers will be reanimated to serve in our zombie armies.
The DNC Has Just Released Its Line-Up Of Convention Speakers!
The Obamas, the Clintons, Bernie Sanders, Kamala Harris, AOC, Jill Biden...
Hey!
What about Joe?
"You hold YOUR convention and we'll hold OURS," the man behind the curtain says.
Joe Biden locks the keys in his Corvette. Using a wire hanger, he tries to pop the lock, but can't. Hours pass. Taking a break, he looks up and sees storm clouds gathering.
"Of all the days to leave my top down," he grumbles.
Nancy Pelosi locks the keys in her Mercedes and she's unable to open the door.
"Oh, my," she says. "I guess it's time for the American taxpayer to buy me another one."
President Trump locks the keys to his Celebrity Edition Rolls Royce.
Laughing, chuck Schumer and Adam Schiff both taunt him, "What are you gonna do now?"
Pulling the spare keys from his front pant pocket, Trump tells them, "Use these."
American Chimpanzee
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