The Week In Tweets: Special Hairline Fracture Edition!

 Fake News Reports!

Presumptive President-Elect J0e Biden Picks An All-Female Senior Communications Team Because...

"C'mom, man! You know chicks are better at that communication stuff."

Presumptive President-Elect Joe Biden Adds Three Additional Members To His COVID-19 Advisory Board:

Xi Jinping, Zhao Lijian, & Sum Ting Wong.

The Vibrant & Alert Presumptive President-Elect Joe Biden Sustains A "Hairline" Fracture While Negotiating The Complex Task Of Lifting His Foot And Placing It Gently Back On The Ground!

And THAT, my friends, is how it begins.

Presumptive President-Elect Joe Biden Has Broken His Foot!

"Damn," laments Kamala Harris, deviously twirling one corner of her thin mustache.

"It was supposed to be his NECK!"

When Told That Her Running Mate Joe Biden Broke His Foot Playing With His Dog,

Kamala Harris Thoughtfully Gets Him Nine Playful Pit Bills For Christmas!

COVID-19

UTEP-0

Dolly Parton Releases "A Holly Dolly Christmas," Her First Holiday Album In THIRTY Years!

What did she take away from her duet with Miley Cyrus?

"Her breasts are so pathetically small."

Khloe Kardashian Defends Sister Kim From Pandemic Backlash Over The Lavish Private Island Birthday Party She Threw That YOU Weren't Invited To!

"We're rich," she explained. "We can do what we want."

  

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

  

  

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