Friday, December 18, 2020

The Week In Tweets: Special Trump Vaccine Edition!

Fake News Reports!  

Availability Of The Trump Coronavirus Vaccine Is Just Around The Corner!
Presidents Clinton, Bush, & Obama use their influence to bully themselves
to the front of the line.
  
Bloomberg Quicktake Wonders: Should Professional Athletes,
Arguably The Healthiest Individuals On The Planet (With The Exception Of STDs),
Be Among The First To Receive The Trump Coronavirus Vaccine?
Sure, they're rich.
  
In A Recent Press Briefing,
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo Welcomed Coronavirus Czar, Dr. Fauci!
"We're like the modern-day De Niro and Pacino," Cuomo told him. "You're De Niro,
and I'm Al Pacino in Cruising.
  
In A Fake News Exclusive, The Daily Beast Reports That President Trump Is
Considering A Pardon For Silk Road "Kingpin" Ross Ulbricht!
"It must be true," Editor-in-Chief Noah Shachtman verified,
"because two people told us."
  
Fake News Juggernaut The Financial Times Believes Donald Trump
Could Be The First President To Be Prosecuted After Leaving Office!
What for?
"We'll come up with something."
  
Premiere Fake News Prognosticator Businessweek
Warns That The American Economy Faces A Zombie Recovery
Even With The Trump Coronavirus Vaccine!
Which zombie?
"Joe Biden."
  
Speaking Of The President-Elect...
Joe Biden Will Take The Trump Coronavirus Vaccine As Soon As Next Week!
You mean the one you said you would never take?
"Yeah, that one."
  
Meghan Markle & The Royal Formerly Known As Prince Harry Have Been Signed By Spotify To Produce New Podcasts!
Great... ANOTHER entertainment media for them to bore us in.
  
In these hard times, It's Good To Know Meghan Markle & The Royal Formerly Known As Prince Harry Will Be Making A Bundle Pretending To Create Podcasts!
"Yeah," Spotify admits, "instead of helping people,
we thought we'd give all our money to them."
  
Happy Birthday, Brad Pitt!
You're not getting older, you're just getting more, um, Brad Pitty.
  
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
  
  
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
  

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