Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Gay Benefits

What a great time my family and I had this past weekend at Wet & Wild Water Park.  The rides were a blast and there were so many people there with tattos I felt like I was back in prison.
     I ran into Chris Lopez, my editor at the El Paso Times.  Who knew in his spare time he sold funnel cakes at one of their food shacks?
     "Hi, Jim," he greeted me.  "What do you think about City Council restoring benefits to gay and unmarried partners of city employees this past week?"
     "Well, Chris," I answered.  "Since you asked..."
     It's not that I'm against benefits for partners in gay relationships, I just don't think they're necessary.  Personally, I'm for gay marriage.  It would be good for the economy.  Every gay wedding would be a wedding with two brides.  Can you imagine the money they'll be spending?  I have a relative who's gay--let's just call him "Bob", since that's his real name--and he's been in a relationship for close to twenty years.  Together he and his partner own a nice house, drive nice cars, buy the latest electronic devices, and go on expensive vacations.  Do you know why?  Because they both have jobs.  Jobs with insurance.
     Jobs, insurance, and no kids
     Am I against people and their God-given right to do what they want?  No.  For example, my stand on abortion is this:  Go ahead, kill your baby.  Just don't try to tell me it's not a baby.  And don't try to tell me I have to pay for it.  I may not agree with what you do, but I will fight to the death your right to do it.  Well, maybe not to the death, and certainly not with my wallet.  Bottom line, you have the right to live your life, just as I have the right not to be forced to adopt your agenda.
     George Cordova from East El Paso wrote a letter to the El Paso Times where he demanded:  "...we must offer the same coverage to all employed."  And I agree.  Single people should have the same coverage as other single people, and married couples should have the same coverage as other married couples.
     The person you're dating or living with isn't your legal dependent.  If you choose not to get married, then you should accept the consequences of your actions, or, rather, your non-actions.  (Now here's where it gets interesting...)
     I know, I know.  Gays don't have that choice, but, personally, I think homosexuals are missing a great opportunity.  Marriage, more often than not, ends in divorce.  It's a broken institution.  Gays should come up with something better than marriage.  Something that will set the standard for everybody else to copy or follow.  Just like they do with fashion.
     I'm sure Mayor Cook and the rest of El Paso's City Council have good intentions.  I'm also sure they have unoccupied rooms in their homes.  When they begin taking in homeless gay couples I'll know they're walking the walk.
     Finally, Ouisa Davis, in her Friday column, tried to paint homosexuals as frail.  Weak.  Unable to take care of themselves.  She called them the "voiceless minority."  Well, I've been to the Gay Pride Parade, folks, and trust me...
     ...they are not voiceless.

El Paso!  Give Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Huddled Masses Yearning To Be Free... 
...And WE'LL Support Them!

(By the way, if you've ever wondered who buys the ring when two gay men get married I recommend the book Steven Petron's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners.  It's a bit dry, but very informative.)

Fifty Shades of Parody

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