Sunday, June 19, 2011

My El Paso (Part Three)

My El Paso.
     I think those three very powerful and personal words are a great start in getting the citizens of El Paso to define their own city.
     However, I must admit that when I first read that phrase I felt it sounded a bit too standoffish and exclusionary.  Kind of like when a two year-old says:
"MY blankie!"
"MY dollie!"
MY El Paso!
     Now I realize that this is the genius of it.
     Reverse psychology.
     What a concept.
     The best way to make something valuable is to make it rare.  Something not everyone can have.  A rock that you pick up from the ground has no value, but shine it up, call it a diamond, price it outrageously, and, all of a sudden, you've created a demand for it.
     This demand usually comes from individuals who are as dumb as said rocks, but, fortunately, there are plenty of those kind of individuals around.  They are as plentiful as, well, rocks on the ground.
     To make someone want something all you have to do is tell them they can't have it.  The person you want most, for example, is the one you can't have.  It's human nature, my friend, and that's the genius of "My El Paso."  We are creating a desire to visit this city by telling outsiders they're neither wanted nor welcomed.
     I offer the following "My El Paso" suggestions to make El Paso a destination desired by all those who used to ignore us.

My El Paso!  Get Out And Stay Out!

My El Paso!  Trespassers Will Be Shot!

My El Paso!  We Don't Need Your Stinkin' Money!

My El Paso!  You Don't Have To Go Home, But You Can't Stay Here!

My El Paso!  Move Along, There's Nothing More To See!

My El Paso!  Peligro!  Entrada Prohibida!

My El Paso!  This Property Is Condemned!

My El Paso!  Don't Let The Door Hit'cha Where The Good Lord Split'cha!

My El Paso!  That's Right, Amigo...  Keep On Driving!

My El Paso!  You May Never Be Heard From Again!

My El Paso!  If The Drug Users Don't Get You, The Drug Lords Will!

My El Paso!  It's Not You, It's Me!

My El Paso!  Get The !%#@ Out Of Here!

My El Paso!  This Ain't Dodge, But Get The Hell Out Anyway!

          So, El Paso, let's all do our part bringing people and businesses to this city by keeping them out.
     I'll start with my ex-wives.
Fifty Shades of Satire

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