Fake News Reports!
Kelly Ripa Got Emotional On Her Wednesday Show Talking About The Stress Of Social Distancing!
"How can I ignore my fans and berate my employees if they can't come near me?" she weeps.
"I hear ya, sister," Ellen DeGeneres agrees from her Hollywood mansion.
Serge Rivera, SeaWorld's CEO, Has Resigned After Furloughing 90% Of His Workforce!
"All this could have been avoided if they would only agreed to be paid in plankton," he lamented.
The Easter Bunny walks into a bar.
"Can you serve me some carrot juice?"
"I'd be hoppy to," the bartender says.
The New York Times Accuses President Trump Of, Despite Early Warnings, Being Slow To Act!
Except in comparison with every other politician or news media source.
NASCAR Driver Kyle Larson Has Been Suspended Indefinitely Without Pay For Using An Offensive Racial Slur!
"Let it be clear," a spokesman said, "that we here at NASCAR will NEVER tolerate the use of the word 'cracker' to describe a white man."
It's OFFICIAL!
Bernie Sanders ENDORSES Joe Biden!
"Please, Whoopi, will you release my family now?"
It's OFFICIAL!
Obama Endorses Biden!
"Mommy, why is daddy crying?"
It's OFFICIAL!
Elizabeth Warren Endorses Joe Biden!
"Can you believe it? Because I'm a woman, they made me go last."
CNN Accuses President Trump Of "Propaganda Session" During White House Briefings!
"Leave the propaganda to us," third Stooge Joe Besser's little brother Jeff Zucker harrumphed.
The Easter Bunny walks into a bar.
"Can you serve me some carrot juice?"
"I'd be hoppy to," the bartender says.
The New York Times Accuses President Trump Of, Despite Early Warnings, Being Slow To Act!
Except in comparison with every other politician or news media source.
NASCAR Driver Kyle Larson Has Been Suspended Indefinitely Without Pay For Using An Offensive Racial Slur!
"Let it be clear," a spokesman said, "that we here at NASCAR will NEVER tolerate the use of the word 'cracker' to describe a white man."
It's OFFICIAL!
Bernie Sanders ENDORSES Joe Biden!
"Please, Whoopi, will you release my family now?"
It's OFFICIAL!
Obama Endorses Biden!
"Mommy, why is daddy crying?"
It's OFFICIAL!
Elizabeth Warren Endorses Joe Biden!
"Can you believe it? Because I'm a woman, they made me go last."
CNN Accuses President Trump Of "Propaganda Session" During White House Briefings!
"Leave the propaganda to us," third Stooge Joe Besser's little brother Jeff Zucker harrumphed.
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
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