Friday, August 9, 2013

Dear John (8-9-13)

Hard Core Advice From
Hard Core's Hardest Core...
John Leslie!

Dear John,
     I recently had a conversation with my mother. She mentioned that she and Grandma are not speaking again. She reminisced about how poorly she's been treated by her mother, even as a child.
     She then mentioned how her mother donates blood frequently, and told her she is O-negative, which means it's genetically impossible for her to be my mom's biological mother, because my mom is AB-negative.
     Family relations with that side of the family are very fragile, and I am fairly confident that my grandmother would never tell them the truth about the situation. I don't have contacts with relatives on that side of the family because grandma prohibited it.
     I have one question about this, should I tell my mother? Should I confront my grandmother? How do I start a search looking for the answers on my own?
     I guess that's more than one question, isn't it?
     --Sally (not my real name)

Dear Sally,
Of course that's your real name. Girl, you are as dumb as a rock.

Dear John,
     My boyfriend Keith (not his real name) has worked at a retail store for 30 years. He has been friends with a female co-worker named Marla (also not her real name) for a while. This co-worker calls Keith every day. I mean EVERY day. At work, they talk constantly. If he doesn't work on a specific day, she calls him multiple times at home.
     I have no problem with their friendship, except that Keith keeps most of this information from me. When I ask him directly about talking to Marla, he denies it, even though I have cellphone records as proof. If it is only a friendship, why is he so secretive? There have also been several occasions where we had plans, but Keith made up excuses for being late while he waited for Marla's phone call.
     Keith doesn't understand my frustration with having to wait so that he can talk to his "friend," and because he has limited minutes on his cell plan, he spends most of the talking with her, and not with me.
     Should I be concerned?

Dear Stymied,
Girl, you are dumb as a rock.

Dear John,
     "Too Good of a Cook" said she'd like to have some help with the grocery bills and cooking when her eight grown children and numerous grandchildren visit. This is what WE did:
     Six couples were invited to spend the weekend at a friend's mountain cabin. The hostess specified that each couple would be responsible for cooking one meal for everyone and should bring all of the groceries required for that meal.
     It worked out GREAT. And it was fun to sample everyone else's cooking. We shared the cooking cleanup and grocery expense. The hostess didn't have to spend a fortune on groceries and all her time preparing meals.

Dear Helpful,
Girl, you are... no, that's actually a good idea.

Confidential to Not My Real Name
Girl, you are as dumb as a rock.
American Chimpanzee

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