Sunday, June 30, 2019

The Week In Tweets: Special Disco At The DMZ Edition!

Fake News Reports!
  
How Exciting!
President Trump has arrived at the DMZ, where he is expected to meet with Kim Jong-Un in a matter of minutes.
MY job, as an elite member of the Secret Service and our Commander in Chief's main bodyguard, is to make sure there are plenty of hot dogs for everyone.
  
The DMZ, where President Trump is waiting for Kim Jong-Un to arrive, is considered the most dangerous place on earth!
I have to agree.
This is where my ex-wife lives.
  
As the world holds its breath, President Trump waits for Kim Jong-Un at the DMZ!
As an elite Secret Service agent, and President Trump's head bodyguard, I stand ready to take a bullet for my Commander in Chief.
I plan to take it to Disneyland.
  
As an elite Secret Service agent and Donald Trump's primary bodyguard, I wait with the president for the arrival of Kim Jong-Un at the DMZ!
Unfortunately, I shook the hand of the Lady in the Blue Dress and now find that I am married to her.
  
What's this on my shoe?
Somehow I thought the DMXZ would be cleaner.
Meanwhile, President Trump...
STILL waiting for Kim Jong-Un.
  
"Someone find out where Kim Jong-Un is," an impatient President Trump orders from the DMZ!
"He's washing his hair,' I break the bad news to the Commander in Chief. "He'll be here when he's done."
  
Surprisingly, Robert Kraft--owner of the New England Patriots--has shown up at the DMZ, where President Trump waits for Kim Jong-Un!
Oh-oh.
He's just whispered something into the ear of the Lady in the Blue Dress and now I've been asked to escort him from the premises.
  
What a historic event!
Never before has a U.S. president stepped foot at the DMZ.
"Cowards! ALL of them!" bellows President Trump.
  
The DMZ is considered to be the most dangerous place on earth, so, as President Trump's numero uno Secret Service agent and bodyguard, I have to stay ever vigilant, ever wary, ever...
Oh, look!
COOKIES!
  
While waiting for Kim Jong-Un, President Trump has just signed his name on a tile on the wall of the DMZ!
It's a great honor.
It means he's just bought a timeshare there.
  
As an elite member of the Secret Service and President Trump's alpha male bodyguard, I must protect the life of our Commander in Chief at the DMZ!
However, I don't know if that includes the president dying of boredom while waiting for Kim Jong-Un to show up.
  
President Trump breathes a sigh of relief as Kim Jong-Un finally arrives at the DMZ!
No, wait.
That's just Rosie O'Donnell.
  
The Handshake Heard 'Round The World!
What a historic moment between President Trump and Kim Jong-Un!
  
For the first time in history, a sitting U.S. president was invited to, and walked into, North Korea!
"I claim this land in the name of the United States," President Trump said to a very surprised Kim Jong-Un.
  
At the DMZ, Donald Trump made history as the first sitting U.S. president to step into North Korea!
"What a lovely slab of concrete I'm standing on," said the president to Kim Jong-Un.
  
At the DMZ, as our Commander in Chief stepped into North Korea upon Kim Jong-Un's invitation, Fake News reported:
"President Trump INVADES North Korea! Will He Do The Same To Mexico?"!
  
Well, the historic meeting between President Trump and Kim Jong-Un at the DMZ is over!
As an elite member of the Secret Service, and the Commander in Chief's premier bodyguard, I can now relax and visit one of those massage parlors Robert Kraft was talking about.
  
  
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
  

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