Fake News Reports!
The Democratic Presidential Debates Are Scheduled To Take Place Over TWO Days!
Why two days?
Because the Democrats need one day to debate and another day to read off all the names of everyone who's running.
In A Giant Leap For Womankind, Mothers Can Now Nurse Their Babies In The New El Paso County Courthouse "Mom Pods"!
I've seen those Mom Pods.
They're not doing women any favors.
Republicans Boldly Announces To The News Media That They May BLOCK President Trump’s Mexican Tariffs!
“Aw, who are we kidding?” they admit, before sadly shuffling away.
Rumors Of A Possible "STRAIGHT Parade" In Boston Is Met With Anger And Criticism!
C'mon, Boston.
If you have to SAY you're straight...
New York Is About To Become The First State In The Union To Make The Declawing Of A Cat Illegal!
And THEN you'll do something about your homeless?
"What have you got against cats, mister?"
Why Is Pink Himalayan Salt So Expensive?
Because people will fall for anything.
President Trump Admits Prince Charles "Did Most Of The Talking" In Their Conversation Concerning Climate Change!
"I just listened."
Aren't you going to meet with the Queen?
"I just did."
FIFTY-TWO People Were Shot, Eight Of Them Fatally, In Chicago Over The Weekend!
That absolutely CAN"T be true.
Chicago has some of the STRICTEST gun laws in the country.
And that's all it takes, right?
Right?
President Trump Declares He Was "Never A Fan" Of The Viet Nam War!
"I've always been against any war I'd personally have to serve in."
Chicago's Former Mayor Rahm Emanuel Is Headed To A Cushy Wall Street Job!
"It doesn't pay as much as bribery and graft, but it's a living."
Why Does Presidential Wannabe Kamala Harris Constantly Nod Her Head When She's Talking?
So she'll have at least one person agreeing with what she's saying.
The Obamas Are Teaming Up With Spotify To Produce A Series Of Podcasts!
In other words, like with Netflix, they're getting paid to do nothing.
I'm not saying my ex is fat, but, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to EVERYBODY!
I'm not saying my ex has a bad disposition, but I have to take an Uber to get on her good side.
Fake News Special Report:
The 2020 Census Will Determine Which Households In The United States Have Spare Bedrooms So The Homeless And Incoming Asylum Seekers Can Be Relocated There Per The Excess Americans Initiative!
President Trump Admits Prince Charles "Did Most Of The Talking" In Their Conversation Concerning Climate Change!
"I just listened."
Aren't you going to meet with the Queen?
"I just did."
FIFTY-TWO People Were Shot, Eight Of Them Fatally, In Chicago Over The Weekend!
That absolutely CAN"T be true.
Chicago has some of the STRICTEST gun laws in the country.
And that's all it takes, right?
Right?
President Trump Declares He Was "Never A Fan" Of The Viet Nam War!
"I've always been against any war I'd personally have to serve in."
Chicago's Former Mayor Rahm Emanuel Is Headed To A Cushy Wall Street Job!
"It doesn't pay as much as bribery and graft, but it's a living."
Why Does Presidential Wannabe Kamala Harris Constantly Nod Her Head When She's Talking?
So she'll have at least one person agreeing with what she's saying.
The Obamas Are Teaming Up With Spotify To Produce A Series Of Podcasts!
In other words, like with Netflix, they're getting paid to do nothing.
I'm not saying my ex is fat, but, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to EVERYBODY!
I'm not saying my ex has a bad disposition, but I have to take an Uber to get on her good side.
Fake News Special Report:
The 2020 Census Will Determine Which Households In The United States Have Spare Bedrooms So The Homeless And Incoming Asylum Seekers Can Be Relocated There Per The Excess Americans Initiative!
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