I'm not always cranky.
I have to sleep some time.
I like to think before I act.
I think better after I nap.
The best things in life are free.
So are the worst.
It's everything else that's expensive.
My ex-wife is in prison for hosting a dinner party. She called the food her guests didn't eat "leftovers."
The homicide detectives called it "evidence."
When you go on vacation this summer, there are two ways you can travel:
1) First Class, or
2) With Children.
I have two long-term goals in life:
1) eat what I want, and
2) gain weight.
So far, so good.
I hate those "Employees Must Wash Hands" signs in restaurant bathrooms.
I can wash my OWN hands, thank you very much.
My boss told me: "Go hard or go home."
So I went home.
When someone pretends they're dead, we call it "Playing Possum."
I don't know what the possums call it.
When my father wears black dress socks with shorts and sandals, I tell him he looks silly.
"I'm an old man," he says. "I'm SUPPOSED to look silly."
Ugh!
I'm so full, I can't eat another bite.
Fortunately, my parents didn't raise any quitters.
Am I gaining weight, or is the world shrinking?
When you go on vacation this summer, there are two ways you can travel:
1) First Class, or
2) With Children.
I have two long-term goals in life:
1) eat what I want, and
2) gain weight.
So far, so good.
I hate those "Employees Must Wash Hands" signs in restaurant bathrooms.
I can wash my OWN hands, thank you very much.
My boss told me: "Go hard or go home."
So I went home.
When someone pretends they're dead, we call it "Playing Possum."
I don't know what the possums call it.
When my father wears black dress socks with shorts and sandals, I tell him he looks silly.
"I'm an old man," he says. "I'm SUPPOSED to look silly."
Ugh!
I'm so full, I can't eat another bite.
Fortunately, my parents didn't raise any quitters.
Am I gaining weight, or is the world shrinking?
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
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