Fake News Reports!
Live every day like it’s your last.
One day you’ll be right.
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In A POPSUGAR UK Exclusive Quote, Madonna Reveals She’s “Gagging To Work With Britney (Spears) Again”!
GAGGING?
Is it just me, or is Madonna just making shit up?
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In Its Successful DART Mission, NASA Successfully Crashed A Spacecraft Into An Asteroid And Changed It’s Course!
In a related story, the asteroid Dimorphos has been knocked off its course and, in an extinction level event, is heading STRAIGHT FOR THE EARTH!
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Losing weight is a two-step process:
First you eat less and exercise more, then you eat even less and exercise even more.
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At least nine people dead and 32 injured after Iran launches drone strike against Kurdish group in Iraq!
“Was that wrong?” Iran’s Ayatollah Uvrokanrolla asked. “Because we wouldn’t have done that if we knew that was wrong.”
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Things That Make Me Go Hmm:
Why is it so hard for me to sleep at night, but so easy for me to sleep at work?
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A good book doesn’t beg.
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Solitude is sometimes the best company.
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A Californian Man Is Suing The North Carolina-Based Texas Pete Hot Sauce For Not Actually Being Made In Texas Because…
“I don’t understand the concept of names.”
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A Californian Man Is Suing Texas Pete Hot Sauce For Not Actually Being Made In Texas! In a related story, the Los Angeles native is also suing the city in which he lives because, “In all the time I’ve lived here I haven’t seen ONE angel.”
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NASA’s Planetary Defense System Has Successfully Knocked An Asteroid Out Of Orbit! So what do you think the unintended consequences might be? “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about,” assured a space agency expert, holding an open umbrella over his head.
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On this day in 1927, despite reaching the MLB record of hitting 60 HR's, Babe Ruth is NOT named AL MVP because, as a former winner, he was not eligible. Instead the honor went to Lou Gehrig. “Show me a magic trick, Babe.” “Sure, Lou. Bend over and I’ll make this bat disappear.”
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In the year 3535 Ain't gonna need to tell the truth,
tell no lie Everything you think, do, and say Is in the pill you took today —“In The Year 2525” Zager & Evans With Fake News we got there 1,513 years sooner than Zager & Evans thought we would.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at
Desert Exposure Magazine
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