Friday, January 27, 2012

Win A Super Bowl Super Vacation!

It's Not Too Late!
     There's Still Time To Win The All-Expenses Paid
Super Bowl Super Vacation!

Not only will you win 1st class air travel to and from the Super Bowl, but you will also receive a five day/four night stay at a luxury 5-star hotel, $5,000.00 in spending cash, and the prostitute of your choice!  Tickets on the 50 yard line?  Forget about it!  You will be the personal guest of the New York Giants or the New England Patriots (your choice) and sit in the owner's box, with full access to the VIP area where the owner's closest friends, business associates, and YOU will be well taken care of by the finest call girls money can buy.  After the game, you will join the winning quarterback--either the NFC's Eli Manning or the AFC's Tom Brady--for a well-earned soak in a jacuzzi with--no, not hookers, but--a gaggle of giggling football groupies.  Aren't you glad Tim Tebow crapped out?  Now, how do you win?
     I thought you'd never ask.
     It's easy.  All you have to do is answer the following questions, and the person with the most correct answers wins!  In case of a tie, the winner will be chosen in a random drawing, and, trust me, if my name happens to be the one chosen, I can assure you...  it was just a coincidence.
     Don't wait!  Get started now!

     1)  Who made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs?
          a.  Eli Manning
          b.  Tom Brady
          c.  Han Solo

     2)  What does the "T" in the name James T. Kirk, Captain of the Starship Enterprise stand for?
          a.  Touchdown
          b.  Tebow
          c.  Toilet, as in: where my money goes every time I bet on the Dallas Cowboys

     3)  What is the capital of Assyria?
          a.  I don't know that!
          b.  Bo-iiing!
          c.  Auuuuuuuugh!

     4)  What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
          a.  What do you mean?
          b.  An African or European swallow?
          c.  What?  I don't know that! (Bo-iiing!)  Auuuuuuuugh!

     5)  Who was Harry Potter's real father?
          a.  James Potter
          b.  Severus Snape
          c.  Boy, that Lilly Potter sure did get around, didn't she?

Time's Running Out!
You Can't Win If You Don't Enter!

All entries must be received before the deadline.  Enter as many times as you like.  To win, send your answers to...  technical problems...  please stand by...
Fifty Shades of Funny

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