"Maybe there's money inside."
"Yeah, it could be worth its weight in Puppy Chow."
They both laughed at Buster's bad joke. When they forced the rusted box open they were disappointed. It was only a book. Someone's diary.
They began to read it out loud.
January 1, 2019--Former Mayor John Cook's new law has been in effect three years now. The one prohibiting the sale of dogs less than a year old within the city limits. It was a shame that, before then, dogs could be bought and sold like, well, animals. Hurray! Hurray for Mayor Cook!
The two friends looked at each other.
"Can you believe this?" Charlie asked.
Buster just shook his head.
June 27, 2020--The last of the pet stores went out of business today. Those poor employees. Losing their jobs. Especially in this bad economy. But that's a small price to pay for animal rights.
August 1, 2020--I almost ran over a dog today. Its owner should be shot! Mayor Cook should have instituted a death penalty for people who abandon their pets when he had the chance. He was the best mayor we've ever had.
July 30, 2023--John Cook was the worst mayor we've ever had! People's pets keep having litters, but since they can't sell them, they just dump them in the streets. Now the city's overrun. Where are all the pet stores when you need them?
December 20, 2027--I drove past a pack of dog's today. They all watched me as I went went by. I looked in my rear-view mirror and--I know this sounds crazy--but it looked like they were conspiring against me.
July 4, 2036--The Fourth of July's been cancelled. President Palin has declared a state of emergency. There are dogs everywhere. You can't even order pizza without some mangy mutt jumping out of the box.
September 23, 20327-I just saw our old mayor, John Cook. He was wandering around the empty baseball stadium Downtown, looking old and confused. He was wearing a sign. It said: "The End Is Near!"
February 2, 2038--This is my last entry. When I'm done, I'll bury this diary in my backyard. I don't have much time. There's a group of dogs at my front door and--dear God--they're all standing on two feet!
The diary ended there.
Charlie and Buster looked at each other in silence. After a while they began to laugh, and shook their heads. Their big ears flopping from side to side.
"Talking people," Charlie chuckled, his tail wagging in good humor. "What a joke. By the way, have you finally had your pet human fixed?"
Fifty Shades of Funny