Wednesday, October 2, 2013

ObamaCare 4 Dummies (Part Three)

Employer Mandates
Now that you know what you as an individual have to do, what about you as an employer/business owner?
     Let me tell you about a cousin I have who owns a business. I'd tell you the name of his company, but what's in it for me? This cousin recently told me in private that no president has been as unfriendly to small businesses than Obama. When he wakes up from being knocked into next Tuesday, maybe he'll be less inclined to criticize the man who once saved my life in 'Nam.
     Since I don't own a business myself, and my cousin who did was otherwise comatose, I thought I'd go straight to the man himself for some honest answers.
     Obama didn't know.
     "Have you seen the bill?" he asked, yelling at me as if I was a Republican. "It's HUGE! Almost two THOUSAND pages long! Ain't nobody got time for that! Go ask Pelosi."
     So I did. She didn't know either.
     "I know I said we had to pass the bill to find out what was in it," she cackled, "but we don't really care."
     She excuse herself. She said she needed to go tune-up her broom.
     Okay, I guess then it's up to me.
     I picked up the copy of the Affordable Care Act that the President had slammed on the desk in my office two stories back, and took a look. This is what I found out:
     >Large employers with 50 or more full-time employees must offer health insurance to them and their dependents or face a penalty of $2,000 per employee (minus the first 30 full-time employees). Now, who's going to want to pay a $2,000 penalty. This is where the magic of David Copperfield comes in. Watch in amazement as as 50 full-time employees now become 50 PART-time employees.
     >Dependents are defined as children up to age 26. Great, now I'm NEVER going to get my full-grown son to move out of the house. Spouses, on the other hand, aren't considered dependents, and there's no addendum for blood-sucking leeches.
     >Small employers with fewer than 50 full-time equivalent employees aren't required to offer health insurance. To paraphrase Ross Perot, that kook who once ran for president, the giant sucking sound you hear aren't jobs going across the border, but the employees of large companies trying to keep their jobs.
     >Full-time employees are defined as those who work 30 hours or more a week. Here comes David Copperfield again. You won't believe your eyes as you see your 40 hours a week job become a less than 30 hours a week job.
     >Employers don't have to provide insurance to part-time employees (29 hours or less), but they do have to compute the total number of hours worked by all part-time and seasonal employees to determine if, in fact, they are large (50 or more full-time workers). Large companies, repeat after me: Employers don't have to provide insurance to part-time employees. Employers Don't Have To Provide Insurance To Part-Time Employees. EMPLOYERS DON'T HAVE TO PROVIDE INSURANCE TO PART-TIME EMPLOYEES!
     Anybody care to guess how all those computations are going to add up?
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