1871: The Great Chicago Fire erupted. Fires also broke out in Peshtigo, Wis., and in several communities in Michigan. Legend has it that the fire was caused by Mrs. O'Leary's cow kicking over an oil lamp in her barn. Me, I blame UFOs.
1918: U.S. Army Cpl. Alvin C. York led an attack that killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 others in the Argonne Forest in France. Where were all the French soldiers? Hey, these are the French we're talking about.
1944: "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring Ozzie and Harriet Nelson, made its debut on CBS Radio. You remember radio, don't you? Yeah, me neither.
1945: President Harry S. Truman announced that the secret of the atomic bomb would be shared only with Britain and Canada. Why not Mexico? Hey, this is Mexico we're talking about.
1967: Former British Prime Minister Clement Attlee died in London at the age of 84. You remember former British Prime Minister Clement Attlee, don't you? Yeah, me neither.
1970: Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn was named winner of the Nobel Prize for literature. Rocky later kicked his ass in Rocky IV.
1982: All labor organizations in Poland, including Solidarity, were banned. Polish citizens could not understand why. Hey, this is Poland we're talking about.
1992: Former West German Chancellor Willy Brandt died in Unkel, Germany at the age of 78. He left behind no friends or family. He had them all killed in the war.
2003: A day after being elected governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger said he was promised "a very smooth transition" by ousted Gov. Gray Davis, and vowed to "open up the books" in dealing with the state's ailing economy. You remember when Arnold Schwarzenegger was California's governor, don't you?
Yeah, me neither.