Wednesday, January 22, 2014

DEAR JOHN: Special Parental-Problems Edition

Hard Core Advice From
Hard Core's Hardest Core...
John Leslie!
Dear John,
     I have been divorced for five years and have five children, ranging in ages from 8 to 23. When I was having trouble with my middle son, "Logan," I found help from his godfather, "Carl." I hadn't seen Carl in years. He was my ex's best friend when Logan was born.
     Long story short, Carl and I have been in a committed relationship for two years now. He has been more a part of our lives than my ex has. Four of my kids love Carl, and he is very involved in their lives. Logan, however, hates him and throws a fit if his name is even mentioned. I have explained to him that I didn't intend for this to happen, but Logan feels I took his godfather away from him. Carl is still there for him, but Logan will have none of it and refuses to listen.
     Carl and I mainly spend time together on the weekends when we don't have our kids, or meet for lunch or breakfast. I'm at a loss. Logan is now 17. I don't want to lose Carl. He's a great man and wants what's best for me and the kids.
Dear Torn,
You sure do tell a long story, lady. Why don't you wait until you've wasted your entire life and lost everything waiting for Logan to grow up and decide then?
  Dear John,
     My parents divorced many years ago. Dad started dating and moved in with a woman I'll call Crystal, since that's her name. They stayed together for several years. I lived with them part time, and eventually stopped. I don't have a good relationship with my father.
     Since then, he and Crystal have broken up and Dad moved away. I never felt particularly close with her, but she calls and emails me incessantly, begging me to spend time with her. She even refers to her daughter as my "sister."
     She never showed much interest in me when we lived together, and I'm confused how to respond.
Dear Bewildered,
Tell her to get lost!
Dear John,
     When my husband died, he didn't have a lot of possessions. He died without a will, so what little he had is now with me. My problem is my mother-in-law keeps asking that I return things she gave him.
     I wouldn't mind if she has them, but she has been giving them to his children, who hated him and were rude and disrespectful. The neither called nor came to see him during his long illness. They didn't even bother to come to his funeral.
     I feel they want his things only because they think they might be valuable, not out of any respect or affection. My kids showed him more love and attention than his own did, and I'd rather they'd have his things.
     Should I be honest and tell my mother-in-law why I won't give her any more of his possessions? I just don't know what to do.
Dear Confused,
Tell her to hold on... I might want some of those things.
Confidential to Looking
Women are like parking spaces. They're all taken. Except for the handicapped ones.
American Chimpanzee

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