Fake News Reports!
CNN’s “Tonight With Don Lemon” Has Been CANCELLED!
“Hey everyone,” he assured his public, all twelve of them. “Not what you think. I’m not leaving CNN. I’m just gonna sit here and collect my paycheck.”
**********
Rachel Maddow, on her MSNBC show, wonders who she is going to hate now that people are no longer required to wear masks.
**********
Since Joe Biden became president, the ratings for CNN’s “Tonight With Don Lemon” fell so badly the show was CANCELED.
“I sure miss Trump,” the Don-ster laments.
**********
You get a car! You Get A Car! YOU GET A CAR!
**********
It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk Bones underwear.
**********
The African Country Of Malawi Has Burned The Thousands Of Covid-19 Vaccine Doses Sent To Them For Humanitarian Purposes.
“Just send us the cash,” they explain.
**********
The Richest Man In The World--Amazon’s Jeff Bezos--Has Just Bought Himself A Nifty Five Hundred Million Dollar Yacht And Wonders...
“Why aren’t YOU paying your fair share?”
**********
Meghan Markle & Her Husband, The Royal Formerly Known As Prince Harry, Celebrate Their Third Wedding Anniversary Today!
How will they spend their special day?
“Criticizing America,” Meghan says, elbowing Harry aside, “like we always do.”
**********
Fro-Yo Foe Demi Lovato Now Identifies As Non-Binary And Has Changed Her Personal Pronouns To “They” & “Them.”
“There is nothing I won’t do to hang onto the sliver of celebrity I have left.”
**********
Naomi Campbell Has Revealed That She Now Has A Baby Girl.
“With every year that passed, it became clearer and clearer to me that I was running out of people to abuse.”
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
No comments:
Post a Comment