Sunday, April 7, 2013

It's Gross, Dad

Buzz Adams, of KLAQ's morning radio show, told a funny story a while back. In fact, it was such a while back, that the much-missed Teresa Provencio was still his co-host. But that's neither here nor there. Well, it might be here, but it's definitely not there. Not even a little bit.
     The story he told was about a thirty-two year-old man in a bar who was enticed by a woman to go outside for, apparently, a quick tryst. Unfortunately, it was not ecstasy that waited for him, but, instead, the woman's accomplice.
     The victim made a break for it, but the only thing that stood between him and escape was his impaired sense of fashion. He wore his baggy jeans so low below his butt, that, when he tried to run, they fell to his ankles, tripping him. As a result, he was taken advantage of, and not in the fun way he had hoped for.
     When I drop my teen-age daughter off at her high school, I see a number of teen-age boys dressed in a similar manner. All fashionable in a Don't Ask/Don't Tell kind of way.
     "Do girls like the way that looks?" I once asked her, honestly curious.
     "It's gross, dad," she answered, rolling her eyes. It's hard to tell what she meant by that, because, to her, everything is gross.
     Every generation has its own style. From the zoot suits of the 40's, to the polyester suits of the 70's. The 90's began with the grunge look, but that soon morphed into the urban hippity hop look, and that's where boys showing their derriere became popular, especially with the members of NAMBLA.
     I've heard that this particular fashion had its origin in prison. In prison you're either the one who wears his pants up, or you're the one who wears his pants down, and I'm sure it's no fun to be the one who wears his pants down.
     It gave the Don't Ask segment of the prison population easier access to the Don't Tell segment of the population, if you get my drift.
     Upon leaving prison, the men who wore their pants down brought that same, sad look along with them, where it was enthusiastically adopted by urban males who thought it was a cool gangsta-outta-prison look. Sadly, it was more of a San Franciscan-outta-Christopher Street-with-a-gerbil look.
     Does the fact that this fashion caught on in urban areas mean that there are more blacks in prison than whites? Hey, you're not taking me down that road to the P.C. police station, buddy.
     The pants-below-the-butt look has stubbornly hung around about twenty years past what should have been its expiration date, and doesn't seem to be leaving us anytime soon.
     Like I said, every generation has its own style. This one's happy to be stuck in the 90's. Let me give them a head's up: When Canadian Justin Bieber has adopted your sense of style... you know it's dead.
     On a similar note, years back I noticed teen girls walking around in public wearing boxer shorts or pajama bottoms. I thought it was a cute look, that is, until a few months back. I was getting an old-fashioned hair-cut at an east side barber shop, when in came a grown man wearing pajama bottoms. He was also wearing a dark leather jacket, t-shirt, and tennis shoes, but... pajama bottoms?
     I felt sorry for him. Obviously, he couldn't afford a mirror.
     I've since seen other males, mostly teens, walking around in broad daylight wearing pajama bottoms.
     I don't ask... and they don't tell.
American Chimpanzee

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