Fake News Reports!
Chinese Foreign Ministry Denies Using Foreign Prisoners As Forced Labor In Qingpu Prison!
Chinese Foreign Ministry Denies Using Foreign Prisoners As Forced Labor In Qingpu Prison!
"We graciously give ALL of our foreign 'guests' freedom of choice," a Chinese spokesman assured the world. "They can work or they can be tortured."
Presidential Wannabe Mike Bloomberg Caught Using Prison Labor To Make Campaign Calls!
"Hey," the former New York City Mayor excused, "if it's good enough for the Chinese..."
After A Four-Day Hospital Stay For An Undisclosed "Pre-Existing" Condition, Prince Philip Was Discharged (No Pun Intended) By Doctors!
"We're reasonably sure he's no longer contagious," a Buckingham Palace spokesman assured all underaged females.
Five Sentenced To Die In Saudi Arabia For The Murder Of Jamal Khashoggi!
So you found the men guilty of that horrendous crime?
"What does 'guilt' have to do with anything?" sniffs Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, not understanding.
Stanford Researchers Say Plastic-Eating Mealworms Are The Answer To Humanity's Waste Problem!
Those mealworms will eat anything.
In a related story, "Mealworm" is my ex's nickname.
Scientists Have Confirmed The Vagus Nerve Is Crucial To A Person's Health And Well-Being.
What they CAN'T confirm is just what the vagus nerve IS.
In Gallup's Annual Poll Both Donald Trump AND Barack Obama Have TIED For 2019's "Most Admired Man"!
I'd make a joke, but my head's just exploded.
In An Effort To Improve Their Image I.C.E. Will Be Changing Their Name In 2020 T0 NATIONAL Immigration & Customs Enforcement!
How can you not like a N.I.C.E agent?
In Gallup's Annual Poll Both Donald Trump AND Barack Obama Have TIED For 2019's "Most Admired Man"!
I'd make a joke, but my head's just exploded.
In An Effort To Improve Their Image I.C.E. Will Be Changing Their Name In 2020 T0 NATIONAL Immigration & Customs Enforcement!
How can you not like a N.I.C.E agent?
This Just In!
The Russian Intercontinental Hypersonic Weapon Has Become Operational!
Now they'll be able to hack our elections 27 times faster than the speed of sound.
Last New Year's I bought an exercise machine to get back down to the weight I was before I got married.
Turns out I didn't need an exercise machine, I needed a TIME machine.
Lily Tomlin Officiates At Kathy Griffin's New Year Wedding!
I'd make a joke, but I'd rather say: "Congratulations Kathy!"
Anderson Cooper & Andy Cohen Both Had A Ball Hosting CNN's New Year's Eve Extravaganza!
...but they won't say whose.
2020!
It's history that hasn't happened yet.
Last New Year's I bought an exercise machine to get back down to the weight I was before I got married.
Turns out I didn't need an exercise machine, I needed a TIME machine.
Lily Tomlin Officiates At Kathy Griffin's New Year Wedding!
I'd make a joke, but I'd rather say: "Congratulations Kathy!"
Anderson Cooper & Andy Cohen Both Had A Ball Hosting CNN's New Year's Eve Extravaganza!
...but they won't say whose.
2020!
It's history that hasn't happened yet.
American Chimpanzee
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RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
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