Tuesday, January 21, 2020

The Week In Tweets: Special Unbiased Journalism Edition!

Fake News Reports!
  
On Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day Let's Honor The Man By Judging People 
  By The Content Of Their Character And Not By The Color Of Their Skin!
"Hey, if you do that WE'LL be out of a job!" the Reverends Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson both protested.
  
Bernie Sanders Was Considering A Dual Vice-President/Treasury Secretary Role For Elizabeth Warren Should He Become President!
"Well, she can forget about that now," he griped, bitterly.
  
"There Was No Other Option," The Former Prince Harry Whined About His & Meghan Markle's Severing Ties With The Royal Family In A Speech He Gave To His Sentebale Charity.
"It was either that or be a man and stand up to my wife."
  
Iranian Lawmaker Ahmad Hamzeh, In A Speech To His Parliament, Puts A Multi-Million Dollar Bounty On President Trump!
  Democrats immediately subpoena him as a witness for the prosecution in the Senate's Trump Impeachment Trial.
  
In Her Interview With The Hollywood Reporter Hillary Clinton Opines Of Bernie Sanders That "Nobody Likes Him."
I'd like a second opinion, Hillary.
"Okay, he's also ugly."
  
An Ecstatic Prince Harry Arrives In Canada For A Happy Reunion With Meghan Markle & Son Archie!
"Hold my purse," Meghan tells him.
  
Upon His Arrival In Canada To Reunite With His Wife & Son, Prince Harry Is Officially Greeted By Prime Minister Trudeau Wearing His Ceremonial Blackface!
  
Whining About Mitch McConnell's Control Over President Trump's Impeachment Proceedings On CNN's Anderson Cooper 360, Watergate Reporter Carl Bernstein Dubs Senate Majority Leader "Midnight Mitch" Because...
"That's just the kind of unbiased journalist I am."
  
OneZero Uses Important Resources To Find Out Who Is Responsible For wikiHow's Bizarre Internet Art!
"It was either that or find a cure for cancer," a spokesman for the tech & science publication explained. "We chose the former."
  
Robotics Company Open Bionics Reveals It Designs Its New Prosthetic Arms Using Inspiration From Star Wars, Disney, & Marvel Examples!
I don't know, it sounds very Terminator-ish to me.
  
  
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
  

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