Thursday, January 23, 2020

The Week In Tweets: Special Squirrel Appreciation Day Edition!

Fake News Reports!
  
It's The 14-Year Anniversary Of Kobe Bryant's HISTORIC 81-Point Game!
Hey, didn't Wilt Chamberlain score a HUNDRED points back in 1962?
Hmm... seems like Fake News isn't as smart as Fake News thinks it is.
  
Today (January 22nd) Is Squirrel Appreciation Day!
Something tells me that someone has a little too much time on their hands.
  
Chuck Schumer Says A Witness Swap With The Republicans Involving Hunter Biden In President Trump's Senate Impeachment Trial Is "Off The Table" Because...
"We're not really interested in a fair trial."
  
The Weather Has Reached Such Cold Temperatures In Florida That Their Native Iguanas Are Falling From Trees!
On the plus side, grilled iguanas are DELICIOUS.
  
In An Article In The Guardian, The Church Of England Makes It Clear That Sex Is For Married Heterosexual Couples ONLY.
"Boinking is for everybody else."
  
The Chinese Zodiac's Year Of The Rat Begins On January 25th, Which Is The Chinese New Year!
The Year of the Rat...
Considering what's happening in Congress, that seems about right.
  
The Streets Of Spain Are Filled With Sea Foam Due To A Massive Storm!
"It's merely a coincidence," Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez Pérez-Castejón says, "that this occurred while our annual pornography convention was being held."
  
Researchers Claim That From The Mummified Remains Of A THREE THOUSAND-Year-Old Egyptian Priest They've Recreated Its Actual Voice And...
"You have to take our word for it since the only people who can prove we're wrong have been dead for three thousand years."
  
The Doomsday Clock Is Now ONE HUNDRED SECONDS Away From Midnight And The End Of Humanity!
"It's been that way ever since we've put Greta Thunberg in charge of it."
  
Fans Are Shocked--SHOCKED, I Tell You--That, In A Bit Of Hollywood Magic, James Corden Doesn't Actually Drive During Carpool Karaoke!
"Yeah, we're idiots," they admit.
  
  
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
  

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