Friday, June 28, 2013

Dear John (6-28-13)

Hard Core Advise From
Hard Core’s Hardest Core… John Leslie

Dear John,
                Is there any connection between low vitamin D-3 levels (mine is 15) and weight gain? I recently caught the tail end of some doctor’s show on TV and I counted back:
                Summer of 2010, I started gaining weight. I was swimming a lot for exercise, and it was packing on pretty good. By fall, I was wearing “relaxed” jeans. My weight’s settled at 230 pounds, up from 170.
                In May, my D-3 had tested at 15. I was shocked. I already had a tan, and I was taking 1,000 IU daily, but I had been listless, useless, and just thought it was my age (I’m 85). It took more than six months to get it to 51, with me sometimes taking as much as 50,000 IU three times a week.
                So, tell me, is it the D-3? I’ll take my answer off the air.
                --Fatty, Fatty Two-By-Four

Dear Fatty,
                No, you’re just fat.

Dear John,
                Please, please, please help me.
                I’ve visited my allergist, the ear-nose-throat specialist, and my own internist. None of them has ever heard of my problem, and don’t know how to help me.
                Starting in 1990, every couple of months I would get an awful pain on one of my ears if I had been lying on it while I slept. It would happen to either ear, whichever one I lay on.
                The pain is so intense that it wakes me. It is not inside the ear, but around the edges of the entrance to it. It is so painful that I can’t touch it. It will be throbbing. The only thing that will make it go away is when I stand up. Within 30 minutes, the pain is gone.
                I just had an MRI done, and the reading showed no “growths,” at least according to my doctor.
                This ear pain, however, is starting to affect the quality of my life, since I don’t get seem able to get the restful sleep I need.

Dear Ow!,
                Sleep on your BACK.

Dear John,
                I am a 57 year-old man with no siblings. My mother is deceased, however my 82 year-old father is physically healthy, except for his being in the early stages of dementia. He has a few hobbies to keep him busy, but for some reason he is obsessed with me, and has been all my life.
                Sometimes he’ll call me three or four times a day, even when I am right there sitting next to him. He insists that I go to his house every day, but when I get there he’ll make me stand outside and talk to him through the screen door.
                I know Dad is probably lonely, but so am I, since I can’t make any friends or even date due to his attitude and sharp tongue.
                Every day, he becomes more and more demanding, insisting I do things immediately, such as changing his colostomy bag, rather than when I have the time. He also had grown very mean-mouthed and pouts if he doesn’t get his way.
                This is getting to me, and putting a strain on my health.
                What do you suggest?
                --Sick & Tired

Dear Sick,
                When I woke up this morning, I was feeling pretty bad about myself. Thanks for making me feel better about my life.

Confidential To My Loyal Readers
You DO know I’m not a doctor, don’t you?
American Chimpanzee

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